Tuesday 1 April 2014

Time to get healthy, for good.

**Disclaimer -- The disclosure of some of my health issues in this post are not complaints -- as much as they suck, I've learned to live with them. Rather, I am explaining what is going on to help my readers understand the challenges that I am facing.

Like most people, I've had my ups and downs with getting healthy. I've had months, and even a couple of years where I was at the top of my game and I've had even more times when I haven't. And like a vast many of people it seems these days, I have had an onslaught of health problems. In fact, since I was fifteen, I can't remember a time I was without one problem or another. Younger even, if you count my struggles with anorexia and bulimia.

It started with an unexplained, un-diagnose-able arthritis in my wrists. Then came the chronic migraines. Migraines so bad that I missed a good chunk of the 11th grade. And from there, it was just one thing after another. When one health problem disappeared, another one quickly took it's place.

A few years back, I was diagnosed with Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome(PCOS). Despite leading a fairly active lifestyle and eating, for the most part, quite healthy, I kept gaining and gaining weight no matter what I did. I was put on medication to help, with the intent to pull me off once my weight was under control. One of the things that PCOS is caused by is a lack of insulin in your body, and the medication is supposed to help teach your body to regularly produce the insulin on it's own. For many, that works. But, as it seems to be with everything else, I fell into the category of people whose bodies cannot produce insulin on their own no matter how much the medication teaches it to. Which means, as soon as I stop the medication or lower my dosage past a certain point, I gain like there is no tomorrow. (This happened to me last year -- I gained nearly 40lbs over a span of two and a half months, while working out at the gym 3-5 times a week and barely eating enough to keep me healthy).

I've had stomach issues that developed while I was in college, and in the last six months have gotten so bad that I can't eat anything without getting ill. That's nearly ten years of getting sick from foods with no apparent pattern or reasoning. While I've been able to figure out that I have a sensitivity to dairy and gluten, it still does not help that much.

This 'sickness' has gotten to the point where now, I live off taking an Imodium every other day just to be able to do my work and leave the house. If I'm going to eat, I try to choose foods I know make me throw up just so that I can inhibit what will happen if the food isn't already after my system. I've been in a permanent state of exhaustion for months now, and I'm tired of it (no pun intended).

While I am seeking medical help, I don't have much faith that they will be able to determine anything. Despite that however, I am hopeful that I can be healthy again. I've started that journey, and as difficult as it is, I plan on sticking to it.

And for now, that means cutting out as much gluten and dairy as possible (I can't give them both up entirely, they're my two favourite food groups after steak, bacon and chicken!), and trying to eat overall healthier meals and portions. Due to work, sometimes I don't have the chance to stop somewhere and eat something healthy, or go home for lunch, so fast food is the only option. So I'm forcing myself to learn to cut back on portions there too -- the smaller, the better.

As for workouts, well, I'm trying. Anyone who has ever been lacking proper nutrition and finding themselves drained because of it knows how hard it can be to get the strength to do something physical, but I am doing what I can. Since I can't afford the gym, I'm using workout videos and, once the weather improves, intend to take my dog for at least a half hour rigorous walk twice a day.

I know they say it's good to set weight-loss goals in a time frame, but I'm choosing not to do that. Each time I have, with the things I've been facing, I tend to panic and get stressed out if I fall off track and it makes it a lot harder to avoid turning back to bulimia to get to where I want. So, there is no time goal. Just a goal to continuously push forward, towards being a healthier, happier, better me.

And if I manage to find a way to get a six pack and awesome legs on the way, I don't think you'll hear me arguing too much.


2 comments:

  1. We may very well have more in common than we thought. I too have suffered from stomach problems since I was about 15 or 16 years old. It started with H Pylori which resulted in my entire stomach being lined with ulcers and a large one on my esophagus which resulted in throwing up EVERYTHING i ate. didnt matter what it was. Dairy always makes things worse though. I was then diagnosed with IBS and now I currently have erosions in my stomach which result in nausea all day almost everyday. Its a never ending battle. I never know if I'm truly sick with a stomach bug, or if my stomach is just having a fit. its awful. I get spasms of pain that last for days. and though I do not have PCOS, I do suffer from cysts on my ovaries. So bad they have put me in the ER a few times. I also have cysts in my breasts. I completely understand wanting to be healthy, and its so funny that i read your comment and came across your blog today because I was getting ready to post my own "healthy" blog. <3 I wish you the best of luck in your journey.

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    1. Wow! Sounds like we really do have a lot in common on that front too. I haven't had any cysts yet, but I was told that's just a fluke. I'm totally giving that one to God, because I don't know that I would have been able to handle another problem.

      Here's to hoping we both are able to get on that healthy bandwagon! :)

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