Being a wife means sharing, and that's not easy for me.

Not sharing things. Things, stuff and money are easy for me to share.

Feelings, on the other hand, are a different story. I'm a bottler. I keep everything inside and even the few people I do confide in never really get the full depth of everything. One of my best friends once told me that even with how much I tell her, I'm still very closed. That sometimes, she can't read me, despite how open I think I'm being.

I'd like to think I'm better at that now. That I can share things with my close friends without being closed off and careful. But I'm still cautious as to who sees that.

Telling my husband feelings is hard. We had a talk once after we got engaged about how I don't say what I'm feeling, or tell him how I feel about him a lot. He is the exact opposite. Heart on his sleeve, tell you how he feels and his emotions without a second thought.

As a couple, we need to share how we're feeling. Not just because communication is necessary to make a relationship work, but because if we're to operate as a whole, if we're to support each other and be a strong force against the world, we need to be willing to let each other in.

And like I said, I'm not good at that. I'm the type of person who has to be strong, has to be brave, and has to keep it from the world that she's scared. That she's terrified. Like I said last night, people don't know.

So when hubby got home last night, I did something I'm still learning how to do. I told him what was going on. He knew something was wrong, because I broke down at church and hid in the washroom to cry. And when he came home, I was crying again.

It was hard. But I did it. And he was so loving and strong and supportive.

Marriage isn't going to be easy. But I think I'm learning one step at a time.